Laser Pointer Vision*

SUPERUSELESS SUPERPOWER: Laser Pointer Vision*
Your gaze isn't strong enough to burn through anything, just strong enough to point things out. Makes prolonged eye contact particularly awkward and painful during romantic dinners and job interviews.

*This superuseless power comes to us from none other than Christian Lander, author of the blog and now book, Stuff White People Like. SWPL is one of our favs, so if you haven?t checked it out, do so right this minute...