Mamavision, a.k.a. PreMOMnition

SUPERUSELESS SUPERPOWER: PreMOMnition
The power to see what your mother is doing at all times. PreMOMnition cannot be turned off and operates similar to picture-in-picture technology, so your mom is ALWAYS in your field of vision. Oh, and good luck trying to get laid. Even viagra can’t combat real-time images of your mom waxing your father’s back.

[Congratulations Antelieris! It was tough, but yours was the superest-uselessest. Check out a couple "honorable mentions" after the jump!]